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Horror Flix Review


"The Ruins" , directed by Carter Smith, was released on April 4, 2008.
I went to see it on that night with three people.
The theater, to my surprise, was packed. Then again, on opening night this is probably normal.

 
To meet my expectations, it was initially boring, predictable, and slow.
Then it picked up, and everything went downhill, which is exaclty how it should go.

To be blunt, three college kids in Mexico during break agree to visit ancient ruins
with another tourist they barely know in a place that's not on a map. They get lost. Shit happens.

And it was delightfully terrifying.

The special effects in the film were remarkable. The acting was gut-wrenching. The gore was just enough: barely tolerable.

Of course, the events of the plot are twisted around and the characters have been reassigned their roles.
What I mean by this is that this film is an adaptation of the novel by Scott B. Smith.

Did it make the story more interesting? Subjective.

Would I recommend the film? Oh yes.

I repeat, the story is quite predictable but paced perfectly.

(And yes, the film is nearly a year old. I will review Saw V next time :s)

DEMONS

okay, my friend and I are on this dario argento kick right now. we've been watching any of his movies one by one. and we just watched DEMONS. i've been waiting forever to see this movie..and IT IS SO AWESOME.

i don't know what kind of horror movies you guys are really into...but.....

if you like cheesy 80's mixed with tons of gore ,kind of awesome special effects, and metal music...then demons is for you.

i can't wait to watch demons 2. mostly because asia argento is in that movie and she is so badass..

xoxox
<3
melissa

FRIDAY THE 13TH

what do you guys think of Friday the 13th being remade?
I'm always kind of pissed when someone remakes an old standard horror movie.
i did like Rob Zombie's Halloween, though.

so the question is...ARE YOU GOING TO SEE IT WHEN IT COMES OUT?? I'll go see it at the dollar movies on 50 cent tuesday or something.
yes or no?


xoxox
<3 melissa xxx

Return of the Living Dead Part II (1988)

I doubt there is a movie worse than this piece of shit.


Really.


Fucking really.

Death Bed: The Bed That Eats (1977)

I can't even finish watching this piece of shit.

And I'm pretty drunk right now.

This entire movie eats, to be honest.

If you're the type of person who likes to sleep with a DVD running in the background this just might be the movie for you.

Hey! C'mon, losers! Post something!

I'd do it more often but I'm really not very good.

It's your community too!

Use the sumbitch!

Snakes On A Plane (2006)

There's a bunch of snakes. On a plane. They kill people.

That's really just about all there is to it.

I'm amazed that there are people who bitch about how bad this movie is. It's about snakes on a plane. What were you expecting? "Hamlet"? You've got your snakes killing people on a plane. That's all there really should be. I think it's brilliant.

The cast is wonderful and having both Kenan Thompson and David Koechner in it is a treat. Samuel L. Jackson stars, of course and he's pretty much exactly the way you'd think he'd be in it.

There's really not a whole lot more to say.

If you're the type of person who'd like to laugh real hard as you watch a bunch of dumb shits get killed by snakes (on a plane) this just might be the movie for you.

Hatchet (2006)

"Hatchet" is pretty much a return to those old school stalk and slash movies that were so much fun to get loaded during in the 80's. The opening scene is killer diller and crock-tastic (and has a great old horror movie guy in a guest shot) but then you have to wait a bit so you can meet the cast and get some plot going on until it picks up.

Once it does it really starts to kick ass!

Some college dudes are taking a break in New Orleans for Mardi Gras. Most of them are into drinking and barfing and being stupid and pissing in the street and getting laid except for a guy who got dumped by his fave rave girl and just can't get over it. He decides to take a boat tour of famous ghoulish landmarks in a swamp. His wise ass black buddy goes with him.

Bad move for both!

There's a crazy with a hatchet (hence the title, right?) running around hacking folks up!

Do you love bad movies that are actually funny? Like to see folks get killed in really bloody ways? Are you into gratuitous naked tits? Well, go nuts, kids! This movie's got it all! Drink lots o' shots and beers and groove on this hunk of cheese! I was laughing and cringing and then laughing again through this whole thing.

Let me just tell you this:

If you're the type of person who would love to see Joel Murray get his head popped off by a maniac (not that that's a bad thing) then "Hatchet" just might be the movie for you.

Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959)

I first saw a little movie called "Plan 9 From Outer Space" in high school. This was around 1971 or so and in those days high school meant exactly that, at least it did at my school. One night I smoked a nice sized joint and saw the movie at about three in the morning. I had no idea what it was (or who Edward D. Wood, the guy who wrote and directed it was, for that matter) but, as a young and hungry science fiction and horror fiend I thought I'd check it out based on the title alone. I couldn't believe it. It was the sloppiest and downright lamest thing I had ever seen. I almost literally laughed my ass off.

Nobody really had a VCR back then so if you wanted to see a movie a bunch of times you'd have to wait for a rerun. It would replay every six months or so and I'd see it every chance I got, often making friends and people at parties sit through it as well. It was amazing! You either loved it or hated it. Most hated it. That was their loss as far as I was concerned. I was hooked and the most amazing thing was that it got better with each viewing. It didn't take very long for it to become one of my favorite movies.

These days it seems that almost everybody with a quirky taste in cinema loves it and it has reached the height of cultdom. Books, magazine articles, a comic book, even a whole other movie sing the praises of what has been called "The Worst Movie of All Time".

But is it really the worst? I don't think so. Have you ever seen "Tomcats"? "Mrs. Doubtfire"? How about "Gone With The Wind"? Those are some bad movies, pal. I mean, look, at least "Plan 9" has a message: "Stop playing around with weapons or we'll come back and whack your whole damn planet!" Pretty heavy stuff. Sure. I know. Robert Wise said the same thing in the film "The Day the Earth Stood Still" and he said it better too.

But here's the thing:

The reason the aliens come to earth in "Plan 9" is to stop us from discovering Solaronite, particles of sunlight so small they can't be measured. If we create a Solaronite bomb it will blow up the sun and then follow the sunlight, blowing up everything it touches thereby blowing up the whole universe. Now, there's no such thing as Solaronite but there are neutrinos, teeny tiny particles of sunlight. If a neutrino bomb were created and set off would the sunlight explode setting off a chain reaction that would destroy the universe?

I'm no scientist but it sure seems that way to me.

And what about Ed Wood? Did he "discover" neutrinos long before whoever is credited with the discovery only to pick a really stupid name for them and use them in what has been called "The Worst Movie of All Time"?

As Criswell, the guy who narrates it says, "Can you prove it didn't happen?"

If you still haven't seen this movie it just might be the movie for you.